Tattoo: Rings, a family tree
When meeting people, the most dependable discussion points tend to be around my tattoos. Each comes with its own story of why, when, and where. Everyone is a part of my story that I want to wear, share.
Introduction
I’ve just come back from attending my younger sister’s wedding. A few weeks before I left to visit home my sister let me know that I was scheduled to give a toast during the reception (since I was a brother of the bride). It forced me to come back to the original idea of where this tattoo comes: from family.
My dad opened the reception with a welcome speech of his own, speaking about how we’ve welcomed all attendees into our family, with intention, because they were people they (my parents) could rely on to be good, strong support while us children were growing up. We even ended the welcome by singing our family’s song that my dad wrote when younger.
The When
My family has always been important and has been a consistent support throughout my life. They’re the ones that I can text or call, and they’re there to provide advice, to be leaned on, or even just to listen. In March 2013, I had just finished my first three months of living outside of the United States. I hadn’t even been off North America before my interview at Booking.com. I was missing a critical part of that familial support system that had grown and guided me to become who I was then, and today. The initial honeymoon phase was over, and the homesickness was heavy.
But, I wanted to travel, live abroad, experience something outside my typical. I wanted to explore the world and was enjoying it immensely. Never had I been so lonely but excited and happy. It’s a strange mix of emotions that’s now part of daily life.
The what
I’m a designer; design was the thing that brought me to the Netherlands. As I studied design in college and grew as a designer, I found a love for loud, bright colors. The tactile nature of print and the bold colors that we printed with became a regular default of my work: cyan, magenta, yellow, black. From these four colors, you can print almost everything! It’s incredible.
Until recently I thought I grew up at the beach or port, always near water. While true, after my trip back for my sister’s wedding and a long stint of living in Amsterdam, I realized that it’s also like living in the woods. Anywhere I go in my hometown has trees (or water). We’d regularly go hiking, walking in the forest with the dogs, take trips to the mountains. We’d spend time in nature.
The rings in my tattoo, like a tree, grow for every period of life. Trees add a ring each year, thickness depending on the amount of water it took in and developed. My tattoo is designed to grow but, rather than using years of life, becomes more finished at periods of life, rooted in family.
Currently: Black rings
The black rings are my base and root of the tattoo. There are four, each for a family member. One for my mother, father, brother, sister.
To come: Yellow ring
My parents continue to be married and have been for 33 years, this year. Their marriage has shown me a relationship that continues to grow, thrive, and survive with each other. It’s their marriage that gives me something to strive and hope for as I continue through life. They encourage, support, care for, balance, their other. My mom will still laugh at the same joke my dad’s told for 30 years, that I’ve grown up hearing. She’s not just humoring him, but actually laughing! Their sense of humor matches and he’s always able to make her laugh.
I still do believe in marriage. My ideas of marriage are more open and matured than they had been when I first got this tattoo. Finding someone that supports and helps each other be better? That’s something good. When I do find them, and marriage does happen, there will be a yellow ring above the four black.
To come: cyan, magenta rings
My parent’s marriage is an example I would like to emulate. How they’ve raised my siblings is something I want to do, too.
Fun fact on color history: pink’s been a masculine color throughout history. By late 19th Century, it had started flipping as parents began to identify the gender of babies earlier through color of clothes. I’ll represent both, having them intertwining, above the elbow, at the same size as individual black rings. Intertwining because gender normativity through color shouldn’t be a thing.
It grows
Ultimately, my second tattoo is unfinished. I still have a lot of life to live, people to meet, and experiences to have. And, the adventure continues.
